name in the headline.

A couple days ago a newspaper article appeared with a picture of myself dancing. The article went on to describe a recent dance competition I attended. What should I wake up to the next morning? A newspaper article about my girl stealing the show she's currently starring in, here in town. When I saw the headline "My girl steals the show in her leading role", I couldn't help but feel proud and shaken all at the same time. I smiled and shook my head when I read it. As I was reading the article it named the other cast members. Her new boyfriend is a cast member, and the second I read his name I had to close the paper. We both used to joke about how we would take turns being in the local paper- one week it would be my turn to have my picture in the papers and then the next week it would be her turn. It looks like we're still up to the same habits. I wonder if she saw my picture and if it gave her the same odd/proud feeling it gave me when I saw her name in the headline.

When I'm dancing I always focus on one certain thing, or event, and that keeps my dancing feel almost effortless. I'll get lost in a thought and let my body do the rest. For a little while I stopped focusing on things. I have no idea why, but I was dancing mindlessly.. and I didn't like it at all. I'm happy to say I'm back with my focus. When I actually think about it, most of the things or events I focus on when I'm dancing revolve around my girl.

I'm ready to cleanse myself of people who make such big deals out of nothing. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about- those people who turn everything into a huge dramatic ordeal. Those people who have to have people upset with each other. I'm just ready to be cleansed of those people. I just want to shake these people and say "Be yourself and try and love life for at least 2 seconds." And that's all about that.

Tonight I saw a play downtown with one of my friends (who I'm so happy we're becoming closer friends). The play centered around different points in the central character's life. I found it extremely interesting. It made me wonder if I could ever write a play. I decided I want to put writing a play and seeing it performed on my bucket list if I ever make one.

It's hard to live through this summer without the madness and foolishness of love. I'm staying strong in the belief that everything is happening for a reason. I'm staying strong in the belief that there is a reason I'm not being foolish. There is a reason I'm not being young and foolish this summer, and sharing a love with someone else. Maybe I am and I don't even know it.

I want to talk to my girl. Waiting around with my hands in my pockets sucks. I want her to see me dance. I want to take her in my car and put her in the studio and dance just for her, and for myself; for the both of us. I wonder if she knows I dance our story every time I dance. I'm the only one who knows, and that makes it all the more special. A heartbroken artist is the worst kind of heartbreak.

If I could pour my heart out into a contemporary freestyle in front of my girl this very instant, I would choose this song:

I can't take my mind off of you, until I find somebody new.

from that dancer guy to you,

Tony