I'm going to be pretty busy. I decided to make a summer to-do list:
Summer 2011 To-do list:
- AP English reading assignment
- get a new phone
- live in New York City for 2 weeks
- sit down in a coffee shop & talk with my girl
- get somewhat of a tan
- audition for another show
- get new glasses
- go on a date with sweetheart
- drive through the mountains while the sun sets (and take a girl with me?)
- have another triple trouble meeting at iHop
- get together with Bria and create the most incredible duet the world of dance has ever seen
- realize that I only have one more year left
I'm positive I'll be adding more to the list.
Lately I've been finding myself sitting up in the middle of the night with watery eyes. I'll feel like I've been crying for hours but I haven't. I'm not sure, but I'll get these drops of sadness put on me. I'll feel like this tsunami has washed over me that's telling me to feel lost and alone. I've found myself to be on the verge of breaking down if I have time to stop and think- that's why I hate not being busy. Being alone has made me throw myself into my work. I'm constantly working- with dance and performing in general. If I had someone I feel like I wouldn't be so wrapped up in what I do. I have this habit of throwing my entire self into the things I love. With her, I threw my whole self at her and consumed who I was in her. Now that she isn't a part of my life, I'm throwing all of myself into my work, my craft. Is that bad? Is it bad that all I do is work work work? My physical therapist would tell me it's awful, he tells me all the time I overwork myself and that's why my knee's are so terrible. That's something I've been tossing back and forth with- do I overwork myself? Honestly, If I do I like it that way. It keeps me distracted from heartbreak and it keeps me happy.
from that dancer guy to you,
Tony
P.S. In honor of Summer 2011 finally being here, here's a video just for you!
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