THE SITUATION

So here's THE SITUATION, not that guy from The Jersey Shore (which I have yet to get into), the situation with me. I've been considering getting into blogging for a while now, I thought I'd actually start one day. There's always a first day for everything right? I mean, I've always loved writing. I wrote all these letters over this past summer to my lover, it felt good.

Now furthering into the situation with myself- I want to say I'm your everyday high school student, but that is so far from the truth. I'm a performer and dancer specifically, number one. I like sweatpants. And most importantly, I believe in love. I have this girl. She isn't mine anymore, but she's only mine in the fact that we share a love with each other. She's phasing into another guy's life. I stick to believing she still loves me, but we don't belong to each other anymore. Currently, all I am consumed by are the memories of my girl. She's out there in the real world, the big world. COLLEGE. While I'm here. I'll find myself wondering if she ever stops and thinks about how I'm doing, what I'm having to adjust to and deal with. Knowing she has someone there with her hurts my heart, it doesn't break it. No, not break. Just hurts it. She told me "he was there for me, and you weren't." I haven't gotten those words out of my head. I've come to realize she, at the time, didn't know what she was talking about. There is a difference between being there for someone and being there with somone. I was there for her (still am), every moment of everyday. He was there with her. Does she not know that I love her to end of this world? How could she say I wasn't there for her? Silly girl. I've wanted to bring this up to her. She doesn't like to be proven wrong, she's stubborn like that; I love her more and more because of that. Images of our young love on the lake and kisses under the stars play on repeat through my mind. I don't think much of anything else. We talk to each other every day. It stays mutual. I try my best to sound happy, but my gut tells me she knows my game. We know each other better than anyone else. How can something so beautiful get ripped from you? How can time grow and grow until it pulls two people so madly in love away from each other? After everything that has happened and where the two of us are now with each other, I still believe in love. I'm still optimistic and hopeful as ever. She always pointed out how unrealistic I was with life- always shooting for the unreachable, and dreaming about the unthinkable. I loved love her.

Honestly, my life right now is my girl and dance. My dearest dance. I love to dance. Dance is keeping me sane, it's keeping me together. With my girl flying away with the wind, dance is keeping me from jumping off my "have hope" train. I can't stop thanking God for blessing me with dance. I'm so incredibly blessed to have dance come into my life. Without it, I would lose my way and become a wandering lost soul.

From that dancer guy to you,
Tony