i'm not doing it.

My girl is home. I'm not going to see her. Not this time. I'm not doing it.

Apr 22, 6:46 pm
my girl: haha. sorry been in the car for 3 hours. kinda dead.
me: where ya headin?
my girl: i'm home.
me: alone?
my girl: no.

... end of conversation.

I'm not going to pretend I'm over her, because I'm not yet. Yes I've moved on with my life, but I still think about her every single day. So I refuse to tell myself that I'm over her. There isn't one day where I go without having her face appear in my mind. I don't know if I should hate or love that. No matter what I do, her smile is imprinted on the back of my mind. Sometimes I feel stupid to hope it's the same for her, but what difference would that make? It's weird sitting here alone in my room, on this bed, while I know she's in the same town with him. Me, her, and him all in the same town- it puts an awful pit in my stomach. I don't know when I'll sit down with her face to face again. She plans to live here over the summer for 5 weeks, with him. That's at least what she said last time I talked to her, she's always changing so who knows what's happening now. Anyways, I can't see her while she's here with him. I'm not doing it. So, like I said, I don't know when the both of us will share time together in person again. I'll find a coffee shop for the both of us somewhere. It'll probably be a while from now, and I'm okay with that. We'll talk to each other about our lives and how we've changed, and how we haven't changed.

from that dancer guy to you,

Tony