I'm finally 18. A friend told me the other night that I've always wanted to be older than I am, pushing myself to be older. Now, I feel like I'm finally content with my age. 18 is a good age, solid. My birthday was last week and crammed with dance classes and homework. I mean, I was surrounded by friends and family and I wouldn't of had it any other way.
After this weekend my life is literally going to be pushed in fast forward. I have two weekends out of town in a row and a college audition in New York City. Today has been crammed with getting stuff together for my traveling and finalizing college applications.
Lately I've been getting involved in bad things. There's a part of me that will forever be drawn to adventure, and sometimes that can be a downfall, but I love that part of me. Spending more than a month in town has gotten me restless. Restless Tony = bad decisions. For a while I became obsessed with the idea that I have to appear perfect for everyone. I turned to be some-what reckless in my decision making because I couldn't take it anymore. I need to realize that it's okay to mess-up in front of everyone. I remember a couple weeks ago I was having an awful day and completely bombed a preview of my tap solo for everyone. I didn't know what to do.
Not that my drive has been lacking but I've been getting so completely bored with where I am, physically and mentally. The other day I added around 50 new showtunes to my iPhone (yay for my birthday present!) to learn each and every one of them. As nerdy as it sounds, learning new songs that live on Broadway stages inspire me like no other. It makes me want to live them in real life, I want them to become my everyday job. Singing that amazing music 8 times a week is my dream; and I'm ready to go and grab it.
from that dancer guy to you,
Tony
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